My grandma would be turning 86 years this month while we are together since I was 11 years old when grandpa passed away where I became her constant companion and unknowingly I realized that I am learning from her as she encouraged me to study hard as she knew how important it was to learn because she couldn’t continue her school and got married at an earlier age.
She’s against child marriage and ensured all her 4 daughters married when they wanted with their choice and never forced any of them rather she’s against the system of dowry even during those days where women were treated as source of exchange and burden. She loved all her kids equally where she even taught my father and uncle all household chores like her other daughters where all the tasks were equally divided. She definitely possessed management skills, I wonder what a task it would be to look after all of them where even my grandpa was supportive to all her decisions. She ensured her kids excel in business even when there was no one to help them financially, she assured that earning respect was more important than earning money and today I find my father doing business where customers come to him for the credit he has gained over 30 years of selling quality products.
She’s proud of her kids as they started from scratch where we all lived in sharing rooms with adjacent neighbourhood where the toilets meant a journey of 3-minute walk with queue until my childhood and I still have vivid memories of those days where she ensured the hygiene of toilets were maintained and used to conduct meetings with neighbours spreading awareness on cleanliness where people used to get scared at her sight. I have never seen her giving money to the poor; she would rather offer them with food, clothes or basic hygiene goods and encouraged them to work rather than begging or asked them to clean the corridor of the society in exchange of money.
I remember being a brat and my grandpas favourite grandkid; only he alone could save me from her and my mother as they both try to hunt me out after my notorious act where I used to bully kids in our neighbourhood and seek hide out with grandpa. When I was 8, we all had to move out of the shared rooms as the builder wanted to plan a proper residential design and the hunt of our own home began where she assured my father to own a home so that in future no one could ask to leave it and in spite of just started business where managing finance was a task in hand, she stood by the family to take a loan and book the future home as she had faith that it was matter of days so as per her decision we all were moved to our own home which seemed lavish to me as there were two toilets within the home where we had our own garden, two bedrooms with a living room and kitchen where our entire family could sit together for meal. My grandparents felt it was their dream come true but deep down I missed our old home where waiting in queue for toilet was an early morning ritual and bullying friends was saved for evening but there were no friends here except grandpa and it took years for me to accept it as my home where we live today and I feel it’s just because of my grandmas courage that we are living a life of her dreams as with her faith and teachings the business flourished where the debt was returned within few years and we owned a home for lifetime.
Today, she’s dealing with dementia where there’s loss of working memory and she faces difficulty in recollecting daily basic tasks leading to confused state where she often forgets her tooth brush, medicines, navigation within different rooms of the home, even my name at times where she would just smile at me as if she’s trying to tease me. She needs help in the washroom, cleaning and dressing up herself. Although I guide her for bath and meals, she would forget if she had it and constantly keeps asking about it where we all answer her politely and try to keep her occupied with simple tasks like oiling my hair where she spends hours until the perfect plait comes or we just ask her to sort the grains from impurities. All her old memories are intact as she recalls everything perfectly when neighbours of our old home come to spend sometime with her and she goes through the photo album relishing all the moments they spent together. I often feel she’s my baby and wonder at times when she used to take care of me when I was a kid. She inspires me to follow my heart as I have always seen her fighting courageously and never losing hope in spite of her leg surgery post which she could never sit on the floor but is still brave enough to face anyone in the world when it comes to fiscal management tips and savings. As I see her today, she still has that spark in her where she struggles to not disturb anyone or ask for help as we rush to see her wondering with lost thoughts as time passes where she’s started to lose her sensation and doesn’t even blow a mosquito biting her. We all equally ensure for her safety and well-being as she has been the strongest person to keep us together when things meant difficult and she encouraged us to keep on trying which reminds me of the song by The Rolling Stone- “You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes, you get what you need!”
Things I strive to learn from my Grandma
1. Live in the moment — She cherishes her meal with utmost delight never complaining about the food and lives her life graciously.
2. Be a kid — She ignores what others think and doesn’t waste her energy in arguing as she flashes her innocent smile.
3. Be compassionate and polite — She always treats maids with compassion and talks with them politely enquiring about their well being over tea time and never forgets to praise and appreciate their work.
4. Observer — She’s a keen observer of her belongings and ensures her medicines are given on time.
5. Mind your own business — She doesn’t interfere in matters unless asked for help and I have never seen her bitching about relatives or cribbing over household conflicts as she strives only for solution rather than digging the problem.
P.S: I feel lucky and privileged to serve her and admit that at times I scold her like a mother where she smiles proudly and makes that innocent baby face which melts my anger in seconds. Every night, I plant her a forehead kiss and she shares a warm hug as I pat her down to sleep cherishing all our memories which I value the most in my life. Thanks for reading until end!
